“My Back Pages” (continued)

I was a fat kid. Picture me at about age 11, with a round, chubby face, a crewcut, and glasses. Sort of like Drew Carey at that age, only with lots of freckles.

Since I could not be at the racetrack every single day, I decided around the age of 11 to bring the racetrack to me. Specifically, I invented my own little imaginary racing world. I did so with random numbers and probabilities (dice at first, other random numbers eventually).

I ran one race per day and dictated that 26 weeks constituted a racing season (one race every two weeks). After awhile I upped that to 52 races per season (one every week). Eventually, by age 13 or so, I went to 360 races per year (one every day with five days off at the end of the year for compiling season-end statistics). Running those imaginary races got to be a habit, a hobby, whatever, and I still run them today.

(You could say that 360 races per year corresponds to the actual number of graded races per year. I believe that 360 is about the right number. The actual number of 500+ per year is WAY too many, in my opinion.)

Naturally, these imaginary nags had to have pedigrees. So I assigned them pedigrees using the popular names of that time, the mid-1960s, names such as Bold Ruler, Hail to Reason, Tom Fool, et al. (not very much Northern Dancer or Raise a Native; those two names were not perceived to be as dominant then as they eventually came to be).

Equally naturally, once I had four or five racing seasons under my belt, I had to use the first generation of imaginary nags as the breeding stock for the next generation. So as I look at the imaginary nags currently racing or breeding, I see very few “real” names anymore. You have to go back four or five generations or more to find “real” names such as Bold Ruler, Hail to Reason, Tom Fool, et al.

The following is a list of my 120 imaginary nags who are foals of 2009 (two-year-olds of 2011). Actually, it is a list of their pedigrees (sire–dam, broodmare sire). I have not named any of them yet, and naming the nags is the FUN part of the process.

I decided to share this FUN with y’all. Help me name this next crop of imaginary nags. I realize that the names of the sires and dams and broodmare sires below probably will not mean much of anything to most of you. Most of those names are borrowed from the songs of the past 50 years or so. So look at the list below and if any pedigrees strike your fancy and beg for a particular name in your mind, email me (at 66boojum@gmail.com) and let me know. Or if you have any comments or questions about the names. Have FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Foals of 2009

Fillies

br Handedtothesoldiers—All Them Scenes, Allegory

blk Persian Drunkard—Another Match, Abandoned Love

ch Pointstothesky—Argueortojudge, Are No Truths

b Price Was Paid—Baby Is Born, Biblical Knowledge

b Raglan Road—Bluebird Sing, Makes Up My Mind

ch Ramblin Jack—Blue Guitar, Devil in Disguise

ch Shady Grove—Bring Me Down, Most of the Time

b State Trooper—Broad Highway, Biograph

gr Tree a Coon-Carrying Harpoons, Risk

br Are You Sure—Chosen Speed, My Solitude

b Circular Deception—Deportee, Dylan Freak

b Coast of California—Down in the Flood, Doom Machine

br Dead Skunk—Ever Done Well, Every Leaf

b Don’t Say Love—Fast Faded Words, Trouble

b Dark and Dusty—Fake Morals, Flag Decal

ch Elmer Gantry—Filledupmyshoe, Boink Master

b Drinking Problem—Fly Paper, Mexico City Blues

br Eternal Circle—Flood My Soul, Faithful Slave

ro Moody River—Highborn Ladies, Bad Motorcycle

br Methodist Bells—Hear Them Blow, Child Harolde

br Not Dark Yet—Hills of California, Invisible Shelf

br Palaceofthepope—Imageofapriest, Italian Poet

br Pointstothesky—Lepers and Crooks, Arafat

blk Persian Drunkard—Lifeandlifeonly, Let It Slide

ch Raglan Road—Losing of Lovers, Little Boy Lost

b Raggedintherain—Love Minus Zero, Let It Slide

ch Too Complex—Mystical Wife, My Suitcase

b Tree a Coon—Old Lady Judges, Outskirts of Town

ch Almost Hidden—O’Riley’s Daughter, Old Fashioned Pain

ro Asksomebodywhy—Past the Mission, Endymion

ch Black Peter—Pawn It Babe, Shoeless Hunter

b Black Mountain Rag—People in Love, Spanish Boots

br Bledliketherain—Permanent Hurt, Abandoned Love

br Deep Six Holiday—Rappingatyourdoor, Ragin Glory

gr Don’t Say Love—Shoot First, Shopping Music

ro Ghostofanoldlove—Snag the Ring, Ramblin Gamblin Willie

br Fishes Will Laugh—Solovelyandsotrue, Flag Decal

br Italian Poet—Space Monkey, Sound and Fury

b Lone Star Hotel—Supply and Demand, Double-Dealin’

b My Conscience—Through Your Hands, Tiny Montgomery

b Need to Go—Tip That Waitress, Tip of My Tongue

br Ocean of Hours—Turn to Drink, Cold Copper Ore

b Pimple Lotion—Valley of Scorn, Davey Crockett

b Price Was Paid—Yarrington Town, Yellow Creek

ch Rollin and Ramblin—Bring the Family, Before the Flood

ro Asksomebodywhy—Cold Whistle Blow, Cold Copper Ore

b Palaceofthepope—Touch and Go, Temptation’s Page

ch Pointstothesky—Walking Contradiction, Davey Moore

Colts

blk Great White Whale—Aces With Eights, Empire Burlesque

b Grievous Angel—All Is Phony, All the Best

b Hair Is Numbered—All That Remains, Sam the Lion

br Hello Stranger—Anger and Amusement, Seasick Sailor

br Pimple Lotion—Aprilfoolsdaymorn, Davey Moore

ch Price You Pay—Banjo Moaned, Beat the Devil

ch Priceihavetopay—Beforeilostmybaby, Before the Flood

ch Revenooer Man—Bridge at Midnight, Mississippi Moon

ch Raggedintherain—Booksyouveread, Before the Flood

br Tip of My Tongue—Businesslike Anger, Beautiful Bishop

b Twisted Reach—Catch the Wind, Makes Up My Mind

br All the Best—Chain of Events, Spanish Boots

b Almost Hidden—Chinese Algebra, Middle Earth

ch Black Peter—Circleroundmyskull, Child Harolde

b Bledliketherain—Crucify Myself, Constant Craving

br Black Mountain Rag—Dark Eyes, Double E

ch Book of Dreams—Didn’t Come True, Antietam

b Eric Blair—Fire and Ice, Shopping Music

b Ghostofanoldlove—Forget the Dead, My Conscience

b Fishes Will Laugh—Fortunetellinglady, Find You Tonight

br Hobo Sailor—Four Flush, Prefer the Blue

br Hocus Pocus—Gasoline Alley, Great White Whale

br Long Distance Look—Golden Calf, Circular Deception

b Lone Star Hotel—Ghostly Galleon, Great Song Traveler

blk Last Refuge—Got It Made, All the Best

br Lost in Dreaming—Grafton Street, Great Song Traveler

b Lowered Our Lives—Got No Shoes, Going Going Gone

b Love or War– Handsyouabone, Heart Attack Machine

gr Mother’s Drugs—Hear a Laugh, Ragin Glory

br Ocean of Hours—Illusiontomenow, Invisible Shelf

b Price Was Paid—Lines of a Border, Lost Highway

b Price You Pay—Lit My First, Little Boy Lost

br Ramblin Jack—Logical Poet, Price You Pay

ch Slippery With Sweat—Meetmeinthemornin, Davey Dog

br State Trooper—Memphis Lips, My Suitcase

b Spokane Motel—Motionofthesea, Eternal Circle

br Taught the Tomb—My Debutante, Kind and Careful

ch Tip of My Tongue—My Own Parade, My Suitcase

blk You Once Wore—Old Dixie Down, Old Fashioned Pain

b Twisted Reach—Old Side of Town, Old Fashioned Pain

b Amazes Me—On the Square, On the Radio

ch Are You Sure—Paint My Masterpiece, Ragin Glory

br Bottom Fell Out—Pirate Days, Price You Pay

br Circular Deception—Pledging My Time, Risk

gr Book of Dreams—Promised Doom, Price Was Paid

gr Coast of California—Purple Moor, Shopping Music

b Dead Skunk—Road to Ensenada, Are No Truths

b Dark and Dusty—Sails at Dawn, Spanish Boots

br Eric Blair—Shall Be Released, Spanish Boots

br Eternal Circle—Slave Lover, Boink Master

b Fart in Church—Smoke Rings, Standalittlerain

ch Funfilled Weeks—So Much Pain, Standalittlerain

br Last Refuge—Stillhasnotshowed, Price Was Paid

b Long Distance Look—Sunny Goodge Street, Sit Here Stranded

ch Lost in Dreaming—Sweet Rosemary, Seasick Sailor

blk Lowered Our Lives—Tearingupmymind, Bad Motorcycle

b Moody River—Tear in Your Hand, All These Years

ro Methodist Bells—This Heart, Tiny Montgomery

b Not Dark Yet—Torch and Twang, Great Song Traveler

b Persian Drunkard—Void of Form, Masters of War

br Price You Pay—Water Pipe, Davey Dog

ro Goseeheragain—Alberta Bound, Across the Sun

br Spokane Motel—Broke Even, Before the Flood

gr Taught the Tomb—Cantankerous, Across the Sun

b You Once Wore—Can’t Wait, Innocent Flesh

b Constant Craving—Do Not Disturb, Davey Dog

b Need to Go—Honky Tonk Lagoon, Movie Star’s Blouse

br Shady Grove—Luxury Liner, Temptation’s Page

ch Revenooer Man—Marry Molly, Royal Prediction

b All the Best—Painted Ponies, Spanish Boots

b Elmer Gantry—Sinking Spell, Shopping Music

b Outskirts of Town—Turnbackthepage, Tom Paine

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4 Responses to “My Back Pages” (continued)

  1. Lakotasblaze says:

    Facinating! I can’t believe the way your mind works. I wish I had known you as a kid. I was just running around on my stick horse, playing cowboy & Indians with the neighbor boy, digging a hole to China in my back yard or playing with my dolls (I’m a girl). Have you come to any conclusions about racing from all these years of fantasy racing? I’m going to give some thought to naming your horses & get back with you. This should be fun.

    • ddink55 says:

      Thank you for the response. Frankly, I was not sure if I would get ANY responses at all (yours is the first and only so far). So it’s good to know that at least one person finds this stuff somewhat interesting. Hope to hear from you again with some name suggestions and that you have some FUN coming up with them.

      Passingly yours,

      Boojum

  2. Joltman says:

    Greetings

    It’s a pretty good guess you’re a guy I met about 15-20 yrs ago when you were writing some statistical stuff for the T Times and I had a couple of young race horses. I really enjoyed your articles, and haven’t seen much like it since. I think it was in the days when Tom Ivers was stirring up a fuss. Your stuff was counter the current – swimming against the prevailing opinions. I suspect like politics, it was overwhelmed by the momentum of the big money players who continued to breed multimillion dollar yearlings to overpriced studs producing future stallions who couldn’t run a lick.

    My wife and I visited at the office in Lex. I seem to recall saying I’d buy you a beer the next time I was in town. Hadn’t been back for a dozen years ago and your series was history. Will keep to the promise next time I’m in town if you want.

    thx for your efforts – d

    jm

    PS Did you ever invest in horseflesh based on any of your well thought out opinions?

    • ddink55 says:

      You are welcome. I’ll take you up on that offer. I never did invest in horseflesh (which is probably the reason why I can afford to be retired now). I told some stories about those days at TTimes in the posts “The Back Side of a Mule,” “The Speck and the Plank,” and “To Build a Pile.”

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